Taking a compliment...

We know by now that the things we struggle with in adulthood, usually come from childhood wounds.

We know that when we ask ourselves to 'go deeper' we can usually identify where these struggles come from.

A friend of mine and his wife had recently started an incredible business, and he mentioned to me that he struggles with awards and praise.

'I'm doing well in my business but I keep getting praise and recently got invited to this award ceremony. I honestly don't know how to take that kind of feedback. I spend all day encouraging others and giving praise but I don't know how to take it.'

And when I asked him to 'go deeper' he immediately said...

'Well as a kid it was not rewarded to take care of everything, it was just expected. I've never had any ambition of being 'the man', I just do what I do, and now everyone is treating me like it and I don't know how to react.'

This story is interesting, because it shows that praise is as much (if not more) about the giver as it is about the receiver.

Receiving praise well takes skill. You are receiving that praise for the giver and on behalf of all the people who helped you to achieve the success.

People need someone to look up to, and they like seeing someone kicking goals and killing it, who is also a genuinely good person.

They want someone to be 'the man' or woman, or person, because they need that person. Because we are all a little broken, and it helps to see good people achieving.

So, by being 'that person' you are actually helping them in more ways than just the work you've done, or the success you've achieved, by being someone they can count on, and look up to.

You accept that praise for them. You do the big speeches for them. You put the big boy/girl pants on for them. Because not everyone can do that. It takes strength.

My uncle was a great man. A school principal and a man of the community. He always took care of people and genuinely cared about people. His speeches were always gentle and heart felt, but they also had a strength about them.

He did the speeches for everyone else. He wasn't boastful or prideful, but he accepted praise on behalf of everyone and he did it with grace. It is a skill that I admire so much, even more so now that he has passed, rest his soul.

So accepting the praise becomes something bigger than yourself. It becomes another way that you can be there for others.